The General Information Blog

A How -To Guide For Parents

2008-05-31T20:44:00.023-04:00

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Isn't Ironic????

2008-05-31T20:26:00.003-04:00

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The Best Business Card Of All

2008-05-31T20:23:00.003-04:00

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Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey

2008-05-31T17:52:00.004-04:00

These are some real deep thoughts by Jack Handey.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.
==========
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
==========
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
==========
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.
==========
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I
bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it
shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
==========
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
==========
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
==========
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
==========
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
==========
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.
==========
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.
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If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).
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Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what,
can't we all be brothers?
==========
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
==========
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because
I was thinking about doing that anyway.
==========
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.
==========
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind.
==========
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
==========
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
==========
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
==========
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
==========
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
==========
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
==========
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.
==========
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.
==========
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing
and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get
drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park
and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go
to sleep.
==========
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.
==========
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
==========
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like
I am now.
==========
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
==========
I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger
toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had
bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled
off the paint.
==========
Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.
==========
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're
talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
==========
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine.
==========
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to
teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting
the vulture.
==========
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
==========
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on
a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
==========
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.
==========
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think
a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me,
it's not.
==========
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a
dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look
out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."
==========
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.
==========
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add
a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

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I Am 41 Percent Bitchy.

2008-05-26T11:52:00.004-04:00

You Are 41% Bitchy

Generally, you're an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes... well, watch out!

Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.

How Bitchy Are You?

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How Do You Live Your Life

2008-05-26T11:16:00.003-04:00

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.

You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

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Beautiful and Awesome Pictures of Scotland

2008-05-24T15:53:00.005-04:00

I found some beautiful and awesome photos of Scotland. Scotland has a lot of beautiful scenery. These photos are not only awesome and beautiful, but amazing, too

http://freakymartin.com/2008/03/25/scotland-40-photos/

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Top 10 Uses For Your Economic Stimulus Payment

2008-05-24T15:03:00.009-04:00

After cashing in your stocks, foreclosing on your house and filing for bankruptcy, here are ten things you can do with your Economic Stimulus Payment.

10. Tickets to EuroDisney

9. Rent a villa in Tijuana

8. Let it accrue interest in an Off-Shore bank account

7. Spend it all on Canadian Bacon and Molson Ice

6. Pay a coyote to bring the rest of your family across the border

5. Open a sweatshop in Taiwan

4. Order a Russian bride

3. Buy an 8-Ball of Columbian Bam Bam

2. Adopt an Ethiopian

1. Donate to the Chinese Space Program

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Unusual Bathroom Signs

2008-05-24T14:45:00.004-04:00

This is a hillarious collection of unusual bathroom signs from various places in the world. A nice refreshment on the typical boring bathrooms signs you see everyday.

http://www.offbeatearth.com/unusual-bathroom-signs/

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Ants! Natures Secret Power

2008-05-21T22:58:00.003-04:00

This video shows how ants built a massive colony over 538 square feet wide and 38 feet deep into the earth.

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Top 40 Photoshop Images

2008-05-21T22:23:00.003-04:00

Click the link below to see the top 40, most awesome photoshop images.

http://www.vertustech.com/blog/2008/02/11/32/

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Redneck Mansion

2008-05-21T22:05:00.003-04:00

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Man Gets Swallowed By A Snake While Taking A Nap

2008-05-21T19:13:00.009-04:00

Relatives came looking for a man who was taking a nap on a bench outside and discovered that he had been eaten by a large snake.

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Awesome Photos Of Antartica

2008-05-20T13:47:00.010-04:00

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Immigration Cartoon

2008-05-20T13:26:00.017-04:00

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Photo Of Awesome Lightning Strike

2008-05-20T13:21:00.004-04:00

I found this awesome photo of lighting striking in the sky.

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Awesome Nature Photos Of Japan

2008-05-20T13:08:00.004-04:00

Please click the link below to see some awesome nature photos of Japan.

http://66.163.168.225/babelfish/translate_url_content?lp=ja_en&trurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.geocities.jp%2Fdeal_steal%2Fnatur.html&fr=avbbf-us&.intl=us

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Battle Of Kruger- Lions Attack A Buffalo Calf

2008-05-20T11:49:00.005-04:00

In this awesome video a buffalo calf survives an attack by five lions and gets attacked by an alligator in the process.

After the buffalo calf escapes the lion's clutches, the buffalo herd seeks revenge!

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An 81 Year-Old Man Kills Himself With Shot From "Suicide Robot"

2008-05-18T20:15:00.002-04:00

An elderly 81 year-old man killed himself by programming a robot to shoot him in the head after he built the robot with plans he downloaded from the internet.

Francis Tovey, who lived by himself in Burleigh Heads on the Austrialian Gold Coast, was found dead in his driveway.

He was unhappy about demands from his relatives that he should move out of his home and go live in a retirement home.

At 7 AM he set up the robot in his driveway and activated it.

Mr. Tovey left a note saying that he chose to kill himself in the driveway because he knew workmen were building a house next door and would find his body.

His plan worked. One of the carpenters heard the gunshots and ran next door to find Mr. Tovey lying in the driveway with gunshot wounds in his head.

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Hacker Gets 3 Years In Prison For Fake 911 Call

2008-05-18T20:12:00.001-04:00

An Orange County man was sentenced to three years in a California prison when he tricked 911 dispatchers into sending a SWAT team to a randomly selected home in Orange County.

Randal T. Ellis, a 19 year-old, was sent sentenced to three years in prison by Orange County Superior Court when he pled guilty to false imprisonment by violence and falsely reporting a crime. He was ordered to pay $14,765 in restitution, most of it going to the Orange County Sheriff's Department.

Randal was arrested after he hacked into a telephone network impersonating a caller from a Lake Forest home, saying that the man had murdered someone and was going to shoot others. He used a technique, known by other hackers as SWATing.

The Sheriff's Department them sent out a SWAT team and surrounded the house with dozens of officers, with dogs and a helicopter.

As the children were sleeping in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Doug Bates, Doug Bates thinking he heard a prowler grabbed a knife. When he went out into the backyard, deputies confronted him with assault rifles, and handcuffed Bates and his wife until they determined that the call was a hoax.

It was six months before Ellis was arrested and charged.

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When Celebrities Were Young

2008-05-18T14:11:00.002-04:00

Have you ever wondered what your favorite stars looked like when they were kids?

Click the link below to see.

http://fun-brainiac.com/index.php/Artist/Celebrities-Early-Days.html

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New Delhi Public School Bus

2008-05-18T13:44:00.003-04:00

This is a picture of a school bus in the New Delhi Public School system.

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Crazy End of the World Cartoon

2008-05-18T13:33:00.003-04:00

This is a really bizzare and funny cartoon about the end of the world.

http://fuzzy.phpwebhosting.com/~susang/pics/stuff/endoftheworld.swf

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Large Sink Hole In Guatemala City

2008-05-18T02:54:00.003-04:00

A 330-foot-deep sinkhole killed at least two teenagers as it swallowed about a dozen homes and forced the evacuation of nearly 1,000 people in a crowded Guatemala City neighborhood. Officials blamed the sinkhole on recent rains and an underground sewage flow from a ruptured main.

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Bill and Hillary Clinton Back In The Day

2008-05-18T02:36:00.003-04:00

This is a photo of Bill and Hillary Clinton during their college years.

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World's Largest Swimming Pool Off The Coast Of Chile

2008-05-18T01:16:00.003-04:00

Amazing Photos of the world's largest swimming pool off the coast of Chile.

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Amazing Photos Of Hurricane Katrina

2008-05-18T00:46:00.003-04:00

These were taken in Alabama of Katrina as it was “coming in”. Although devastating, there is a bit of beauty in the photos. These pictures were taken by Mike Hollingshead who is a storm photographer.

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Amazing Ice Mountain

2008-05-18T00:43:00.003-04:00

Here is an amazing photo of a wave that froze on Lake Huron during a harsh winter in Michigan.

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Nature Creates A River

2008-05-18T00:22:00.003-04:00

These series of amazing pictures show how nature created a river right across this road.

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Iguazu Falls In Argentina

2008-05-18T00:15:00.003-04:00

Here is an amazing picture of Iguazu Falls in Argentina.

These are some of the biggest and most beautiful waterfalls in the world.

The entire waterfall goes almost the entire length of river that the waterfalls empty into.

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Cool Cloud Formations

2008-05-18T00:09:00.003-04:00

I found this blog called Cool Things Sexy Style. In this post are some awesome pictures of cloud formations.

Most of them are absoulutely amazing. Click on the link below and check it out for yourself.

http://www.collthings.co.uk/2008/05/20-cool-clouds.html

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Lots of Beatle Videos At Stumble Upon

2008-05-17T22:59:00.004-04:00

If you're a big Beatles fan like I am check out my blog at Stumble Upon. I have so many great Beatle videos posted there.

Concerts, outtakes, interviews and movie clips.

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Woman Indicted In Missouri MySpace Suicide Case

2008-05-16T10:36:00.003-04:00

Lori Drew, 49, from St. Louis, Missouri was indicted Thursday for her alleged role in perpetrating a hoax on MySpace against her 13 year-old neighbor, Megan Meier, who committed suicide.

Lori Drew allegedly helped create a bogus MySpace account to convince Megan Meier she was chatting with a 16 year old boy named Josh Evans. She was charged with conspiracy and fraudulently gaining access to someone else's computer.

The 13 year-old Megan Meier hanged herself in her home in October 2006, after allegedly receiving cruel messages, including one saying that the world would be better off without her.

A federal grand jury found Lori Drew guilty on one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without the authorization to obtain information used to inflict emotional stress on the girl.

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Amputee Wins Right To Compete In Olympics

2008-05-16T10:00:00.002-04:00

Oscar Pistorius has won an appeal to compete for a place in the Beijing Olympics.

The Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled that the 21 year-old from South Africa is eligible to compete against able-bodied athletes.

The verdict overturns a ban by the IAAF that said his carbon fiber prosthetic blades gave him a mechanical advantage.

He must still reach a qualifying time to run in the individual 400 meters at the Beijing Olympics. He can be chosen for the South African relay without qualifying.

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Gas Prices Rise To Over $4 A Gallon In Some Areas

2008-05-16T09:52:00.002-04:00

Gas prices in some areas hit over $4 per gallon in some areas of the United States.

Gas prices have been rising now for 10 days straight. The pinch on gas prices comes just before the Memorial Day weekend.

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Girl Scout Sells 17,328 Boxes Of Girl Scout Cookies

2008-05-16T02:09:00.003-04:00

Jennifer Sharp, a 15 year old Girl Scout from Dearborn, Michigan, sold 17,328 boxes of Girl Scout cookies by setting up shop on a street corner, breaking her troop's old record and probably setting a national record.

Jennifer plans to travel to Europe with her troop with the money she made selling the cookies.

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Flight Attendant Is Accused Of Setting A Fire On Airplane

2008-05-16T01:58:00.002-04:00

A flight attendant who was angry about his work route set a fire in the airplane restroom, causing an emergency landing.

The Compass Airlines flight, which carried 72 passengers and four crew members, safely landed in Fargo, North Dakota on May 7 after smoke filled the back of the plane.

Eder Rojas, 19, was in court Thursday, after his arrest Wednesday in Minneapolis, and was held without bail. The charge of setting a fire aboard a civil aircraft is a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison.

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Study Finds That Vitamin D May Curb Breast Cancer

2008-05-16T01:38:00.002-04:00

A study finds breast cancer patients with low levels of vitamin D were much more likely to die of the disease or the spread of the disease than patients getting enough.

Ultraviolet light causes the skin to make Vitamin D. Although too much sunlight can raise the risk of skin cancer, 15 minutes a day without sun protection doctors believe may be beneficial.

Twenty-four percent of the women of the women who participated in the study had sufficient blood levels of Vitamin D at the time they were diagnosed with breast cancer. Those women who were deficient were nearly twice as likely to have their cancer come back or spread over the next 10 years, and 73 percent were more likely to die of the disease.

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Baby Subpoenaed For Unpaid Doctor Bill

2008-05-16T01:11:00.002-04:00

A court in Harrisburg, Virgina has dismissed a case against Jacy, a one year old boy who was summoned to appear in court for an unpaid chiropractic bill. The father, Richard White, said he was shocked when he got a subpoena in the mail requiring his son Jacy to appear in court for a $391 bill.

Jacy's mother and father were not named in the lawsuit, which at the request of the court was dismissed.

Not too long after Jacy was born, he was taken to the chiropractor by his father. Richard White, Jacy's father, suspects that when the family moved, the office updated everyone's records but Jacy's.

Richard White says the $391 bill was covered on his insurance, and the office billed him about the same time he received the subpoena.

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New Jersey Woman Vanishes After Fall From Cruise Ship

2008-05-14T22:46:00.002-04:00

The FBI is investigating whether a crime was committed when a woman taking a cruise with her boyfriend fell into the ocean off New Jersey from a balcony that was attached to her room.

Norwegian Cruise Line said that Mindy Jordan, a 46-year-old nurse from Pine Hill, New Jersey, fell when she tried to reach another balcony from hers on a windy night.

The cruise line said that surveillance cameras on the ship caught her fall and said she was alone just before she fell. The Coast Guard called off the search.

Miss Jordan's relatives asked for a full investigation. They had previously contacted authorities about the way Jordan's boyfriend treated her.

The ship left New York two hours before Jordan fell off. The ship continued onto Bermuda, getting to its destination Wednesday. The boyfriend stayed on the ship and has not been charged.

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